Sarah Jane's House

Why would any man submit to feminization? To better understand the erotic fantasies of the male mind we must turn to the world of internet pornography and adult fiction. Free and accessible pornography has made the world of fantasy, fetishes, and taboos a staple in homes around the world. For a deeper look into the sexual wanderings of both men and women, we examine the most popular types of pornography and fiction. Who is watching what? 

It is not surprising that the most popular content on most pornography sites focuses on crossdressing, transgenderism, lesbian scenarios, female domination, and assorted taboos. Beta Males tend to be fascinated with all the above subjects. These are topics that not only titillate and arouse the Beta but resonate deep within his psyche. Beta Males have, by nature, deep seated insecurities surrounding their ability to please and fulfill the sexual needs of their wives and girlfriends.  

As pornography becomes mainstream, we become more aware of our repressed thoughts and feelings. Since the dawn of time, rich men and poor men have sought the services of dominant women to relieve stress and fulfill sexual and emotional needs that are not being met at home. Society in general is more willing to embrace those thoughts long thought to be taboo. For example, the success of the movie “Fifty Shades of Grey,” despite a lackluster script and cast, demonstrated society’s fascination with taboo titillation. 

Beta Males tend to be more sensitive and caring than Alpha Males. They will often experience and express emotions that are more in tune with a feminine mind than a male mind. Early in life, they may find feminine objects, such as clothing, shoes, makeup, and perfume to be more accessible than actual females. As a result, Beta Males tend to fetishize all things feminine early in life. 

Both Alpha Males, and Beta Males tend to be fascinated with domination and lesbian pornography. Alpha Males tend to focus on videos in which the male is dominant, Beta Males are almost exclusively attracted to pornography and fiction in which the female is dominant. Both Alpha and Beta Males are drawn to transgender videos, Beta Males tend to be also strongly attracted to transgender and female-dominant fiction. In both video and fiction, female domination, transgenderism, and Beta Male humiliation tend to be interwoven elements. If we look deeply into these numbers, we find that many of the consumers of female dominant-transgender-humiliation pornography are married men, specifically married Beta Males. 

Beta Males tend to be fascinated by women’s clothing. Not only are they fascinated by the clothing itself, but they are also fascinated by the experience of wearing it. Men have been wearing women’s clothing for thousands of years, across all strati of society, in every part of the world. Rich men, poor men, big men, small men. Unfortunately, crossdressing ranks somewhere between Pedophilia, and Serial Killing in societal stigmas. 

Against the backdrop of such societal stigma, most men will repress or hide their desire to indulge in crossdressing. Unfortunately, crossdressing is not an indulgence but a deep-seated need to express an unfulfilled feminine longing. Those who do cross-dress, live a life of binging, purging, shame, and guilt. The suicide rate among those who cross-dress in secret is higher than almost any other demographic. 

Men who cross-dress are not freaks, and they are not necessarily gay. They are simply expressing an insuppressible part of their natural being. We are all an indeterminate mixture of the testosterone/estrogen cocktail. We are all products of both our nature and our nurture. We all tend to crave that which has been denied to us. Boys learn early in life if they have been denied access to the Alpha Genetic Pool; society and women make that painfully clear. If you are not accepted as “one of the boys”, is it wrong to feel more comfortable as “one of the girls.” Maybe it is less about sexuality as it is a need to be wanted and included. Beta Males, by nature, have a sensitive, caring, more feminine nature. Is it criminal that they should want to express that nature outwardly? 

So, we have all these men running around in the world, filled with insecurities, adoring all things feminine, and searching for affection, direction, and validation. Suppose a woman came into the life of such a man and said, “I know who and what you are. I love you for what you are. Trust me, do what I tell you, and I will help you become everything you want to be, and I will never leave you.” 

“Forced Feminization” represents all Beta Male fetishes rolled into one. As a side note, a most popular category in the adult video/fiction world is the category of “Forced Feminization.” There is no such thing. Forced Feminization is a literal misnomer. You cannot force a man to become feminine, you can enable him, you can encourage him, you can make him (wink, wink!) dress up but you cannot “Force Feminize” anyone. We use the term “Forced Feminization” as a tongue-in-cheek reference to the rules established in our role-reversal FLR.

Many Beta Males will embrace femininity with encouragement and support. Little girls dream of becoming a princess, sometimes, little boys do too! The estrogen and femininity are already in there, as dominant women, it is up to us to cultivate that femininity. The seed is already planted, you must water it, feed it, nurture it, and protect it until it is ready to bear fruit. 

In the FLR environment, feminization is the embodiment of submission. Rather than an act of cruelty, this enforced femininity and submission fulfills deep inner cravings of the submissive. Our former Beta Male, filled with insecurities, and repressed desires now finds fulfillment and security in the act of serving and obeying a loving Mistress. Gone is the fear of inadequacy, our submissive now knows exactly what is expected, and how to please and satisfy. 

To agree to cross-dress in front of a wife is the ultimate proof of trust and submission. This is submission, not because he is opposed to dressing, but submission because he is now totally vulnerable before you, you now have a secret that could destroy him. This is a bond between the two of you, a bond based on trust, never betray that trust. You have asked him to give you something, and he did, at a tremendous cost, at the cost of his vulnerability. In return, you have given him a chance to do something he dared not even dream about, a chance to step out of his ugly drab life and become glamorous, without guilt, without shame, without responsibility. More importantly you have given him a place at your side.

A Female Domination Primer 

If you are a first time dominant you will need to learn how to establish a tone and manner that you can sustain. If you are confident, kind, consistent, and firm you will never need to raise your voice for any reason. Your submissive must understand your needs, and your moods, in order to serve you properly; she cannot do that if you thrash wildly from one extreme to another. It is permissible, even advisable, to keep a submissive guessing, but don’t make it impossible; she already has much information to absorb and learn during this transition.  

Always remember that you are not a bitch; you are a dominant Mistress. The world is full of bitchy wives, and no one wants to serve or worship a bitch. You are the Queen. Your objective is not to make her hate and despise you; your objective is to compel her to serve and adore you. You are the center of her world, don’t make it a hell.  

You control every aspect of her life now, and she expects you to do just that. Never hesitate to instruct her or use her in any way that is compatible with the rules and boundaries of your agreement. It is your duty to see that she fulfills all her responsibilities and duties with proper attitude. If she fails in any duty, she must be corrected. Before you punish her, you must ask yourself why did she fail? Was she properly trained, did you give her the resources and the opportunity to succeed? Do not punish her for your failures. 

If she is not performing as expected, you have resources at your disposal. Screaming and berating her are not productive options. You may restrict permissions, add remedial training or punishment exercises, or implement physical punishments. Her every action is by your permission, and your permission only. You will find that the granting and removal of permissions is a very effective tool for training and compliance. Removing permissions can have a cascading effect. In our household, if she loses the permission to wear panties, she also loses the permission to sit on the furniture. 

 It is your responsibility to ensure that she always displays the proper attitude. Any display of improper attitude must be dealt with promptly. If she behaves like a child, she should be dressed like a child. Age regression wardrobes are a very effective tool. Mary Janes and Bobby Sox do look sweet with a big floppy bow dress. Diapers and ruffles with locking hand mittens are very effective permission restrictions. If your bad girl needs to work off some excess energy, having her practice her cheer routines in the back yard while wearing her cheer uniform is a nice training tool, and makes some good video footage for the archive. 

Your moods will fluctuate, as they always have, and your demeanor will reflect that. With proper seasoning, she will learn to read your moods and discern the difference between your mood swings and her failure to perform. If you have had a bad day and need to vent some aggression, a properly devoted servant might retrieve the strap or flogger and offer herself at the whipping post. In time, perhaps the sharpest cut of all will simply be the knowledge that she has displeased you.  Her idea of heaven should be the satisfaction and fulfillment that she receives from serving and pleasing you. 

After you have made the decision to live the lifestyle, and drawn up rules and boundaries, you will be tempted to begin immediately. DO NOT DO THIS! Even if you are just beginning a trial period, you absolutely must develop and hone your dominant persona. If you are not prepared and confident, you will fail, you will embarrass yourself and lose the confidence of the submissive.  

You must develop a dominant persona that is consistent, sustainable, and believable. As a submissive, she expects you to direct every aspect of her life, if you fail to give consistent direction you are failing as her Mistress.  You must be always dominant, and you must maintain the erotic tension which is the dynamic that drives all female led relationships. 

Educate yourself. Research female led relationships and female domination. Watch movies and videos and try to emulate those Dominas who exhibit confidence and a commanding presence. For those of you that are new to the arena, the legendary Mistress T is a marvelous example of elegant domination. Watch her videos and bask in her composure and commanding presence. Re-enact some of her scenes in front of the mirror and allow her spirit to permeate your soul. Avoid webcam teeny bopper “Femdom” and “Humiliation” videos on the large porn hub sites. These are webcam actresses, not real life Dominas, and they are all reading from same old, tired, stereotypical  scripts.

Every new skill requires preparation. Riding a bike, driving a car, giving a speech. All require learning and practicing until what was once frightening becomes natural. Practice in front of a mirror. If you feel too awkward to practice in front of a mirror, practice without a mirror until you become more comfortable, then practice in front of a mirror. Once you are comfortable facing yourself in a mirror, take a camera and video yourself. Watch the video, see what is working and what you need to improve upon. Each of these steps may initially cause you to cringe, however, you cannot become a true dominant until you believe in yourself. 

If you struggle to develop a dominant persona, create an imaginary one. Imagine being a dominant female corporate executive treating a male personal assistant with detachment, or a wealthy debutante with a house servant. In addition to viewing videos of professional Dominas like Mistress T, you can find examples of dominant women in mainstream movies as well. If you have not seen “The Devil Wears Prada” you must do that. If you have seen it, watch it again and pay close attention to the character of Miranda Priestly. Take notes, watch the most powerful scenes repeatedly until you begin to absorb Miranda’s character. Think of her not as your end-goal, but as a learning tool. Imagine that you are an actress, and you are learning to act. Acting out different roles will allow you to assimilate the aspects of each character that are appropriate for you. Miranda doesn’t have to be your end-product, but you can act the part of Miranda and let dominance soak into your persona. 

Although it is the male who is being stripped of power and laid vulnerable, it is often the female who struggles most with the power exchange. In time, however, timidity gives way to the joy and fulfillment of the power exchange as a woman slowly comes to accept the notion that she can be the dominant force, the punishing force, the benevolent force. 

If you are going to be a dominant force it is vital that you exude a dominant personality. Some women may be inherently comfortable with this, most will struggle. If you are not already a dominant personality, there are steps that you can take to cultivate proper bearing and confidence.  

If you are totally unsure, continue watching videos of professional and amateur dominant/submissive scenarios. Take notes of style, demeanor, scripts. It is important to go into early domination sessions with a game plan, even a rehearsed script. You may need to improvise but it is important that you get into character and stay there throughout the session. Never put yourself into a situation where you are embarrassed in front of the sub, you may never be able to overcome that. Don’t blush and giggle and act embarrassed. If you find yourself at a loss or slipping; use the escape clause. “Get out of my sight!” Don’t be afraid, make him her fear you. Ultimately, you don’t really want her to fear you, but you do want her to fear disappointing you.  You will find this escape clause useful in any situation where you feel uncertain or potentially compromised.

At all costs you must avoid a “topping from the bottom” scenario. Remember, he she wants you to dominate her. Do not be embarrassed. You have every right to demand that she worships, adores, and obeys you, and pay the price if she doesn’t. In the early stages of transition, you will need to psyche yourself up before you summon her, but soon you will be able to slip into character quickly and naturally. 

Dress and act accordingly. You don’t need to dress like a professional Dominatrix, although you certainly may do so on occasion. You do need to establish and maintain a commanding presence. If, in the early stages of the power exchange, you are feeling timid or squeamish about enforcing your dominance, being appropriately attired will help both of you accept your roles. You are the Queen. Just be the Queen.

Becoming Dom – The mindset- Setting the tone. 

If a Female Led Relationship has any chance of succeeding, you must make it happen. Literally, the Female Leads! You lead the way. If you have chosen this lifestyle then there must be a part of you that either wants this or agreed to it. Whether you have doubts or not you must put aside any hesitation. Never let your hesitation show. Unless you are experienced as a Dominatrix, you will have to learn your new role just as your new housewife must learn hers. 

Beyond this point, there is no giggling, no wavering, no laughing and starting over. Before you flip the Dom switch the first time you must be prepared, you must be confident, you must have a plan and a plan “B”. Read, watch, learn, practice. Watch videos. Find a scene and imitate it. When you walk into that room you damn well better be resolute in your thoughts and actions. Practice. Practice. Practice. In the beginning you may not be able to even watch yourself in the mirror, but before game time, you need to be able to stand in front of that mirror with a granite face, a clenched jaw, and cold steel eyes. From this point forward, the thought of making you angry should make her pee her panties. It is less about how you look and more about how you act. 

This will get easier with time, but you may well be scared initially. Find support somewhere, if you lose direction, seek inspiration in literature and videos. I am happy to guide you. Remember, your submissive wants this, she wants you to be firm and resolute. Not every woman is dominant, but any woman can be! Take charge! Make it perfectly clear that there will be no topping from the bottom.  

Being dominant does not mean being violent and angry all the time, only when it serves a purpose. Your new role in life is not to be a bitch, the world is full of those. Nobody wants to serve a bitch; everyone wants to serve a Dominatrix. You can display a spectrum of demanding behaviors, but you must first establish yourself with an Apex behavior. 

Once you have established yourself as a dominant you can vary your tone and your demands according to your mood: 

“I’ll have a glass of wine.”  

“Get me a glass of wine.” 

 “Wine, belt, bedroom. NOW!!!” 

Your presence alone should cause her to fall to the ground, wrap herself around your legs and weep. She should desire to live at your feet. All that you deserve is now yours. Command it! Work it! Get it, Girl!